Election Day in America 2016. And a Promise to eat Maple Cookies.

I've been very quiet this election season, but I must break my silence & say this:

If Donald Trump is elected President of the United States, I will leave the country! **

Yes!

I'll take my passport -- the one I paid for & NEVER USED! -- and I will LEAVE this great country of ours, and I will finally.. 

FINALLY.. 

See Niagara Falls FROM THE CANADIAN SIDE! 

This I vow! YES! 

FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME!

(... as a full-grown adult...)  

Sure, I went as a kid! And it was cool. Heck, I went to the Harry Houdini Museum! And Madame Tussaud's too! 

But that was 40 years ago! I don't remember anything!....

Except the super-cool Harry Houdini Museum & the kinda-creepy Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum. 

.. Or was it Ripley's Believe It Or Not?.. 

That, and the fact that they had legal gambling in Canada! 

Oh, and there was some cool Animal Park & Amusement Park, MARINELAND! Yeah! We never made it there! But man, I really wanted to go! 

They also had this cool restaurant that spun around. I don't think we ate there either! 

OH, don't forget, they filmed "Superman 2" on the Canadian side of Niagara Falls! That's the one where Lois Lane is so sure Clark Kent is Superman that she throws herself into the raging floods, knowing that Clark will rescue her. (Spoiler alert: He DOESN'T! He uses his X-ray eyes to cut a tree limb loose so she can grab onto it. Something like that!) 

I DIGRESS!

If Donald Trump is elected as the President of the United States **, I WILL DO IT! I will leave this country! 

DO NOT TEMPT ME, AMERICA. I'M SERIOUS!

I ALSO WANT TO TRY THOSE AMAZING MAPLE COOKIES THEY HAVE UP THERE! MMM...

TRUMP! CLINTON! CANADA! HOCKEY! COOKIES! YUM!

AMERICA!

(** the same applies if Hillary Clinton is elected!)

(** a trip to the Bahamas would be nice as well)

The Artist Formerly Known As Prince

I know. I'm boring and unoriginal. But I'm going on the record & saying: 

"When Doves Cry"

is my favorite Prince song.*

The hypnotic, syncopatic keyboards, those dang, unmistakeably-Princely drum synths, the passion with which he cries out at himself and his lover, as they repeat the same behavior he sees in his parents' stormy relationship:

Why do we scream? Why? This is what it sounds like.

When doves cry.

LOVE  IT. LOVE IT. LOVE  IT. LOVE IT. LOVE  IT. LOVE IT. LOVE  IT. LOVE IT. LOVE IT.
---

*Followed, so-closely-as-to-be-unmeasurable, by 

"Let's Go Crazy" 

Dearly beloved. We are gathered here 2day 2 get through this thing called Life. Electric word, Life, it means 4ever, and that's a mighty long time, but I'm here to tell U.. 

there's something else.

That driving beat. The idea of celebrating even as the world is falling apart. 

And if the elevator tries to bring you down, go crazy!

PUNCH A HIGHER FLOOR!

And that kick-ass guitar-solo! That solo! 

That FREAKIN' solo!

TWO MORE-PERFECT SONGS HAVE NEVER BEEN WRITTEN!

---

I will also sing my guts out to "Raspberry Beret" and to "Kiss" 
(a song I very much disliked in 1986):

Ain't no particular sign I'm more compatible with, I just want your extra time and your (jangle-jangle-jangle) kiss.

You were mysterious & enigmatic. Some said shy.

I thought maybe a bit stand-offish & holier-than-thou. 

AND

let's not forget 
you were way too sexy for my fragile ego. 
You flaunted sex in a way that I was never comfortable with. 
You rubbed it in our faces. 

And then on top of that, 
you go and introduce us to 
*THE* *SEXIEST* WOMEN* of the 80's:

Sheila E, Apollonia, Vanity. 

My god, it was just too much for my hormone-rattled youth! 

(But you did introduce us to that dude in the headband. He seemed cool.)

(You gave him the line: 

Life is just a party and parties weren't meant to last

in the video for "1999".)

(I just found out his name is Dez Dickerson. Even his name rocks.) 

(I also always had a soft-spot for Lisa & Wendy too.) 

But I digress.

---

Please allow me to close by saying: 

Mr. Prince, 
sir, 
U were an artistic genius
and your music 
made an impact 
on my life and soul.

Thank U for that. 

Rest in peace.

GTO